Leaving on a Jet Plane pt 2

As I stand in line I can't help but think of those kids. So many thoughts ran through my mind. One of them being that I was secretly hoping that someone would call in a bomb threat just so my flight would get delayed. Another one is something one of the kids asked. Someone said "Kuya Kevin how come you are not crying." I never answered them for whatever reason but that question kept playing on in my mind. I'm next to put my bags on the conveyor to get scanned when something tells me that I just can't leave.... not yet.

I grab my bags and start walking back to the entrance through the crowd of people. I look around for everyone when I catch Thes out of the corner of my eye. She sees me and runs up asking me what happened. I didn't say anything but I grabbed her and gave her a hug. After a few seconds I said to her "thank you, thank you, thank you." The hug gets tighter and she says that all the kids are further down the terminal crying. I speed walk to find them. When I finally see them I run up to the first person I see. I hug them tighter than I've hugged anyone and I say "just because i'm not crying doesn't mean i'm not sad. I love you so very much." I did that about 15 times to each of the youth.

It's really time for me to go.... Actually it was time for me to go 15 minutes ago. As I walk away for the final time I say out loud to them. "thank you.... from the bottom of my heart thank you. You guys are my heart. I love you." That was the hardest thing by far that I have done in my life. I grab my bags and once again line up to check in. At this point I'm an emotional wreck but still I kept my composure and shed no substance you humans call tears.

Finally I board the plane and take my seat. Before the kids left they gave me a whole bunch of letters that they wrote and I thought since I was just sitting there that it would be a good idea to read them.... BIG MISTAKE!!
As I read each one it gets harder and harder to fight those things you call tears. I say to myself there is only one more and I can do this.... I can fight it. I pick up the last one and its from Chelly. On the front it says " To my daddy"

Needless to say that the barriers in my eyes that once held back the tears finally gave in. Tears started pouring down my face and as hard as I could try they just wouldn't stop. There was a lady sitting next to me on the plane and she asked me if I was okay. In the maniliest voice I could make I told her that I'd be alright.

It wasn't until the day that I left the Philippines that I realized how much my life had changed. To think that this all started with a conversation at Tim Hortons with my friend Jon.... Blessed.

You might be wondering why someone would call me daddy.... I'll explain everything on the next blog

Leaving on A Jet Plane pt1

All my bags were packed and I was just about ready to go. I was standing there just about to walk out the door, when I realized that I don't really want to say goodbye. I didn't feel like it was time but I had a plane to catch.  Jon walked me down to the lobby where we waited for my ride to come. We were talking about memories that we've experienced over the almost 3 months that I've been here, when my ride comes. Inside there are about 20 people from the youth (Youth United Philippines) ready to take me to the airport at 3am.... I can't say that I didn't feel special. I say my goodbye to Jon, I thanked him for everything and then we started to load up.

We squeeze everyone into the jeep and begin the road trip to the airport. We start to sing and I stop for a second and take a look at the kids. I say to myself that this is going to be the last time you see them for a while and for some, they may not be here when you get back. All of a sudden this rush of emotion comes over me and I have to tilt my head back to keep the strange substance you humans call tears from falling from my eyes. 

One of the kids (Archie) leans over to me and says "Kuya Kevin, I'm really gonna miss you when you're gone." I can't say anything cause if I do I know that strange substance you call tears will be streaming down my face, so I put my hand on his shoulder, I shake my head letting him know that I'll also miss him, he smiles and he leans back to his seat.

We all start reminiscing about memories we've shared and before you know it someone says "we're here." A quietness fell over the jeep as we all realized that it was just about that time. We all get out and make our way to the terminal. I see some of the girls ahead and they are huddled together. When I walk up to them I see Maan (pronounced Ma-an) crying. I'm trying with everything I have to keep my composure so I put a smile on and say "It's okay, c'mon lets walk together."

My flight is at 8am so I need to check in by 5am.... It's 4AM. I've got 60 minutes to make some more memories, so I take each person aside and we spend a few moments together just talking. After chatting with everyone, I take a look at my watch and its 4:45. 15 minutes now. We snap as many pictures as we can together and Thes (my very good friend) says a prayer for me. It's 5am now....  I give everyone a goodbye hug and I tell them that I love them. Then I fall in line to enter the terminal.

I'm next in line to scan my bags. Something inside says not yet.... Just can't do it yet.

What comes next is a story for another time. Keep an eye out for it.

Stay Classy

Time

A little thought from little Kev:

Today is my last day here in the Philippines and I swear that the last 3 months have felt like minutes. I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone by.

I've come to realize that time is something that we all have taken for granted. It's the one thing in this world that stops for no one and if we take advantage of it, it's gone in the blink of an eye and we can never get it back.

I've definitely grown (not taller... I wish!!) as a  person in the last 3 months. For a very long while i've been trying to figure out who I am and what my purpose is and I really think i've found it. All I needed was time. Time was always there for me to use but I never paid any mind to it cause I was always too busy. Coming here forced me to slow it down and not only appreciate time but the alone time with God.

No longer am I trying to figure things out like how much money I can make an hour but now I'm trying to figure out how much I can make of the hour.... you hear that?.... that's the sound of me blowing your mind!! :)

Stay Classy

Ps. If I wasn't so humble I'd say that was the best post I ever wrote.

Just kidding

I think you`re stupid!!

Great!! Now that I have your attention I`ll continue on with the blog :)

So it feels like just yesterday I hopped off that plane and immediately said to myself "What the heck did I get myself into?!" Since then so much has happened. I came here basically a stranger and I leave here with an even bigger family.

8 days.... 8 days and then I head back home to Canada. I'm excited to see all my friends and family that I haven't seen in a while but there is a part of me that really doesn't want to go home. There is a part of me that feels that the work here isn't done. I honestly feel that there is a calling for me to come back here. That might seem a little crazy and stupid cause I'm sure there are a few thousand people here in the Philippines that would love to move to Canada and here I am wanting to do the opposite. Someone told me that if I were to come back to the Philippines as a missionary, it would probably be one of the stupidest moves I could have ever made in my life. Well all that comes to mind is stupid is as stupid does.

A friend of mine told me that you have to be a little stupid and even crazy for wanting to be a missionary. You are going into a place where people would love to get out of. For some that`s crazy.... Not for me.... It kinda seems like the life I would like to live.

Who knows what the Big Guy has in store for me but I do feel that here is where He wants me to be. In the almost 3 months i`ve been here, I`ve learned that life really is a box of chocolates.... You never know what you`re gonna get and you never will if you don`t take that chance and open the box.

Stay Classy

Uno, Dos, Stress....

     So I'm more than halfway done my stay here in the Philippines and the other night I started thinking about what I'll be coming back to. I started thinking about the bills, looking for a job and just what direction my life is heading towards. I had a little sit down with a friend and basically we came to this conclusion....
   
     Stress comes and makes its presence known in our lives when our circumstances are out of control.  When our needs aren't being met we get anxious. We tend to want to have complete control over things in our lives. We always want to be the driver and never want to ride shotgun. Giving up control means that the outcome is unknown. At least if we have "the wheel" so to speak, then we have only ourselves to blame and we wont have to kick ourselves for putting our trust into someone else.

     What this all boils down to, what i'm trying to say is that when I stress out and worry about these things that happen in my life, it's because at some point along the way I lost trust in God. It's like me sitting in the car with God and it seems like we're lost. It's raining, it's dark, you can barely see outside, I tell God to pull over and I say "you sit shotgun I got this bro, I'll get us out of this mess." Then I take back that control and drive around aimlessly getting more and more frustrated to the point where I just want to give up.

     What I need to do is rely more on Him. It sounds easier said than done and in ways it is. I mean when I'm going through some rough times, do I really wanna pick up my bible and read? No not all the time. for some that works and for some it doesn't. If it does, read Philippians 4:6-7 and John 14:27 (shameless plug)
Sometimes it's talking and venting out to people who can relate to what I'm going through. Sometimes listening to some praise and worship music helps too. I was told that when you surround yourself with God, what happens is we refocus out attention on Him and more away from ourselves then suddenly the problems that seemed larger than life begin too look smaller in the largeness of Him. 

     Now not one of us is immune to stress. When problems come our way we're naturally going to feel like we've lost control, but that's okay because we're not supposed to be in control anyway. Ride shotgun, let God sit in the drivers seat and enjoy the ride.

Stay classy

Samaritana

Today after our Technohub outreach/bible study, Jon says he wants to go check out a place called Samaritana. So we hop in a cab and away we went. When we get to our destination it comes to our attention that the cab driver didn't turn off his fare meter from the previous passenger and now we've been charged double what we should be paying. Jon graciously paid for the fare as we all mumbled a little something under our breath as we got out. That cab driver drove away with not only some of our money, but also with some of our pride.  

We walk for about 5 minutes in this nice sub-division then we stop in front of this big house with a stained glass window in the front and on it is a woman in a dress and she appears to be dancing. We ring the doorbell and the director Jonathan comes to the gate to let us in. He tells us to go upstairs and wait for him in his office.  As we're waiting I see a booklet that explains what and who Samaritana is and does.

Samaritana Transformation Ministries is a non-profit non-denominational organization that outreaches to the women of the Philippines who have been caught in prostitution or sex trafficking. By offering these women community, friendship and accompaniment, these women are also slowly freed up to be who they truly are, as people loved just for who they are, regardless of their backgrounds, and valued for who they can yet become as they begin to trust in themselves and others and as they renew and pursue their dreams and aspirations.

In the booklet there is also a story of a woman who was gang raped when she was 14 years old. Later she went to the streets and not only sold herself but sold other people as well to paying customers. She dealt with the torment of having to endure the insults from her community and she did that for years because it was the only way she could provide for her seven children. It goes on to talk about how now because of Samaritana and the Christ like love that she has been shown, she has left the sex trade behind and is on a new journey, a journey towards healing.

As Jonathan (the director) walked in the room, we quickly chatted and gave brief backgrounds about ourselves and talked about some upcoming events. Then Jon asked if we could see/buy some Christmas cards. Jonathan took us downstairs and introduced us to a lady who showed us all the cards. There were Christmas cards, birthday cards, thank you cards, fathers day cards, any card you could really think of. I turn it over and it says "This card was handcrafted for you by women who have escaped prostitution in the Philippines." Each and every single card was made by someone; someone like the girl who was raped when she was only fourteen, someone like the girl who escaped from a brothel or someone who only does what she does because it puts food in the mouths of her children.
Underneath the story it says "This card was made for you by" and whoever makes it signs it and if you go to the website www.sanctuaryspring.com you can learn more about the person who made the card and her story.

Better than any Hallmark card

The hard part is hearing all the stories that these women share. It angers you to a point that you want to do something but you just don't know what. I'm glad that there are organizations like Samaritana that exist to help these women but the fact that Samaritana does exist is just a reminder of the world that we live in.

A Rhino in a China Shop

     Within my first few days here in the Philippines I've quickly come to the realization that though our backgrounds are the same, our cultures are complete opposites. 

     On Sunday I went to the Commonwealth church and afterwards the youth had a fellowship/bible study that was led by my friend Jon.  The first question he asks is "Who bothers you and why?" A few of the kids answered. For a few minutes no one said anything and that's when he turned his attention to me and asked "How about you Kev? who bothers you?" Without a hesitation I replied with " My mom. She's so annoying sometimes and always is asking me to do things I hate doing." He politely gave me a nod and continued to ask the others the same question.

     After the study was finished, Jon and I jumped in a cab and headed back to his house.  During the ride Jon looks over at me with his shocked face and says "oh you kinda said something taboo today." I didn't say too much at the study so I almost instantly knew what he was talking about.... It was the comment I had made about my mom. You see in the Philippine culture, you will rarely hear kids speak bad about their parents because it's disrespectful and in ways makes them look bad.

     Jon said not to feel bad because there are going to be cultural barriers and lines that have to be broken or crossed  in order for people like "us" to know, learn and understand the culture. I was described as a giant rhino inside a shop of fine china. No matter which way I move i'm bound to break something.  Here's how I see it.... If I happen to break everything in the china shop that's fine with me because at least i'll have a clearer path and be able to move around a little easier.