The Accidental Missionary

How did I get here? How did I end up in the Philippines? Why on earth did I decide to become a missionary?

It all started with a conversation at Tim Hortons with my buddy Jon. He asked me to come to the Philippines and hang out with him for a while. So I did. I said yes and a couple of months later hopped on a plane and headed for the Philipines. It was there where my life was changed. I stayed for 3 months, came back to Canada only to realize that my heart was in the Philippines.

So I raised as much money as I could, hopped on the next thing going to the Philippines and here I am....

 Now that I'm here, I have come to realize that I have absolutely no clue what I am doing. ( I'm sure my supporters will be glad to hear that....)  but that's not exactly what I mean. I know what my roles are here in the Philippines, I know what responsibilities I have, I know what work needs to be done.... but I have no clue how to do it. This is all new to me.

Now that my good friends Jon and Carmi have left to go back to Canada, I am basically alone here in the Philippines. It's kinda cool cause it is the beginning and the end of something for all 3 of us. For Jon and Carmi, it is the end of an amazing mission in the Philippines and the beginning of a new one in Canada. For myself, It is the end of my comfort zone and the beginning of... A Leap of Faith.

A Prayer for Abby

I've been here just about a month now and this post really should be about what I've been doing here with the youth and what plans are ahead for me in the ministry.... but it won't be.

A couple days ago I got news from back home that my cousin Abigail who is only in her early 30's, married with 3 kids has been diagnosed with something that I can't even pronounce. When my family was telling me what it was called, the connection for the phone was getting really choppy so I couldn't understand it. From what I know, she is fighting for her life and the doctors said that they would do everything possible to help but Abby has to keep fighting.

It really sucks that I can't be there with her. She and I have a really close relationship and to know that she's over there going through what she is going through hurts cause I wish I could be there for her.
But I can be there for her in another way.... Prayer. I can pray for her.

This is where you come in.... If you took the time to open this up, I'm asking you to take the time to say a prayer for her too. You might know her and you might not, but she is someone who needs prayer right now.
So from one friend to another, please keep her and the family in your prayers tonight.

 Abby, if by chance you get to read this or someone reads it to you, just know that God is our rock, our sheppard and our salvation. No trials that come our way will shake us and we will fear nothing because our God is with us always.

Dying to Self

We tried a visual meditation exercise with the Open Table group. I tried it on myself and actually put myself to sleep. Since you've already taken the time to open up the link, you might as well give it a try. Whatcha got to lose?

Picture yourself walking in the desert. It's hot and you're getting weary. As you struggle to take each step, you feel this heaviness on your back. That heaviness is all the shame and the sin that you've been carrying with you throughout your life.

You continue to walk and you notice that there are lots of people who are also going in the same direction. You look at their faces and you can see the hurt in their eyes.... you can feel that they are feeling exactly how you are.

Something catches your eye off to the right. You can see a pond and in that pond there is a man. Something is telling you to go towards it but you don't want to because everyone else is walking in another direction.

Slowly your feet lead you to walk towards the pond. As you get closer and closer, it is getting harder and harder to walk. With everything you have you reach the pond and realize that the man standing there is Jesus. He says " I know the hurt and the burden you have.... the sin and the shame that you have been carrying with you. I can take all of that away.... but first you have to die.

Think about it and ask yourself if you are ready to die.... Are you ready to let go of that sin and shame that you've been holding onto for so long?

If you said yes, you start to feel His hands holding onto yours. You start to feel yourself being lowered into the pond.  As the water is slowly surrounding your body, those heavy feelings of sin and shame that were once weighing so heavily on your shoulders suddenly feel lighter.  As you are completely submerged, the weight is no more.

In the darkness you find peace and quiet.... take a few seconds to feel that quietness....

Now you feel that you are being slowly pulled back up. Slowly you start to hear things again, slowly the water that once covered you is now falling off you. As you are coming up you feel lighter and at ease. You open up your eyes and Jesus says to you.... "Welcome to your new life."

Stay Classy

Leaving on a Jet Plane pt 2

As I stand in line I can't help but think of those kids. So many thoughts ran through my mind. One of them being that I was secretly hoping that someone would call in a bomb threat just so my flight would get delayed. Another one is something one of the kids asked. Someone said "Kuya Kevin how come you are not crying." I never answered them for whatever reason but that question kept playing on in my mind. I'm next to put my bags on the conveyor to get scanned when something tells me that I just can't leave.... not yet.

I grab my bags and start walking back to the entrance through the crowd of people. I look around for everyone when I catch Thes out of the corner of my eye. She sees me and runs up asking me what happened. I didn't say anything but I grabbed her and gave her a hug. After a few seconds I said to her "thank you, thank you, thank you." The hug gets tighter and she says that all the kids are further down the terminal crying. I speed walk to find them. When I finally see them I run up to the first person I see. I hug them tighter than I've hugged anyone and I say "just because i'm not crying doesn't mean i'm not sad. I love you so very much." I did that about 15 times to each of the youth.

It's really time for me to go.... Actually it was time for me to go 15 minutes ago. As I walk away for the final time I say out loud to them. "thank you.... from the bottom of my heart thank you. You guys are my heart. I love you." That was the hardest thing by far that I have done in my life. I grab my bags and once again line up to check in. At this point I'm an emotional wreck but still I kept my composure and shed no substance you humans call tears.

Finally I board the plane and take my seat. Before the kids left they gave me a whole bunch of letters that they wrote and I thought since I was just sitting there that it would be a good idea to read them.... BIG MISTAKE!!
As I read each one it gets harder and harder to fight those things you call tears. I say to myself there is only one more and I can do this.... I can fight it. I pick up the last one and its from Chelly. On the front it says " To my daddy"

Needless to say that the barriers in my eyes that once held back the tears finally gave in. Tears started pouring down my face and as hard as I could try they just wouldn't stop. There was a lady sitting next to me on the plane and she asked me if I was okay. In the maniliest voice I could make I told her that I'd be alright.

It wasn't until the day that I left the Philippines that I realized how much my life had changed. To think that this all started with a conversation at Tim Hortons with my friend Jon.... Blessed.

You might be wondering why someone would call me daddy.... I'll explain everything on the next blog

Leaving on A Jet Plane pt1

All my bags were packed and I was just about ready to go. I was standing there just about to walk out the door, when I realized that I don't really want to say goodbye. I didn't feel like it was time but I had a plane to catch.  Jon walked me down to the lobby where we waited for my ride to come. We were talking about memories that we've experienced over the almost 3 months that I've been here, when my ride comes. Inside there are about 20 people from the youth (Youth United Philippines) ready to take me to the airport at 3am.... I can't say that I didn't feel special. I say my goodbye to Jon, I thanked him for everything and then we started to load up.

We squeeze everyone into the jeep and begin the road trip to the airport. We start to sing and I stop for a second and take a look at the kids. I say to myself that this is going to be the last time you see them for a while and for some, they may not be here when you get back. All of a sudden this rush of emotion comes over me and I have to tilt my head back to keep the strange substance you humans call tears from falling from my eyes. 

One of the kids (Archie) leans over to me and says "Kuya Kevin, I'm really gonna miss you when you're gone." I can't say anything cause if I do I know that strange substance you call tears will be streaming down my face, so I put my hand on his shoulder, I shake my head letting him know that I'll also miss him, he smiles and he leans back to his seat.

We all start reminiscing about memories we've shared and before you know it someone says "we're here." A quietness fell over the jeep as we all realized that it was just about that time. We all get out and make our way to the terminal. I see some of the girls ahead and they are huddled together. When I walk up to them I see Maan (pronounced Ma-an) crying. I'm trying with everything I have to keep my composure so I put a smile on and say "It's okay, c'mon lets walk together."

My flight is at 8am so I need to check in by 5am.... It's 4AM. I've got 60 minutes to make some more memories, so I take each person aside and we spend a few moments together just talking. After chatting with everyone, I take a look at my watch and its 4:45. 15 minutes now. We snap as many pictures as we can together and Thes (my very good friend) says a prayer for me. It's 5am now....  I give everyone a goodbye hug and I tell them that I love them. Then I fall in line to enter the terminal.

I'm next in line to scan my bags. Something inside says not yet.... Just can't do it yet.

What comes next is a story for another time. Keep an eye out for it.

Stay Classy

Time

A little thought from little Kev:

Today is my last day here in the Philippines and I swear that the last 3 months have felt like minutes. I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone by.

I've come to realize that time is something that we all have taken for granted. It's the one thing in this world that stops for no one and if we take advantage of it, it's gone in the blink of an eye and we can never get it back.

I've definitely grown (not taller... I wish!!) as a  person in the last 3 months. For a very long while i've been trying to figure out who I am and what my purpose is and I really think i've found it. All I needed was time. Time was always there for me to use but I never paid any mind to it cause I was always too busy. Coming here forced me to slow it down and not only appreciate time but the alone time with God.

No longer am I trying to figure things out like how much money I can make an hour but now I'm trying to figure out how much I can make of the hour.... you hear that?.... that's the sound of me blowing your mind!! :)

Stay Classy

Ps. If I wasn't so humble I'd say that was the best post I ever wrote.

Just kidding

I think you`re stupid!!

Great!! Now that I have your attention I`ll continue on with the blog :)

So it feels like just yesterday I hopped off that plane and immediately said to myself "What the heck did I get myself into?!" Since then so much has happened. I came here basically a stranger and I leave here with an even bigger family.

8 days.... 8 days and then I head back home to Canada. I'm excited to see all my friends and family that I haven't seen in a while but there is a part of me that really doesn't want to go home. There is a part of me that feels that the work here isn't done. I honestly feel that there is a calling for me to come back here. That might seem a little crazy and stupid cause I'm sure there are a few thousand people here in the Philippines that would love to move to Canada and here I am wanting to do the opposite. Someone told me that if I were to come back to the Philippines as a missionary, it would probably be one of the stupidest moves I could have ever made in my life. Well all that comes to mind is stupid is as stupid does.

A friend of mine told me that you have to be a little stupid and even crazy for wanting to be a missionary. You are going into a place where people would love to get out of. For some that`s crazy.... Not for me.... It kinda seems like the life I would like to live.

Who knows what the Big Guy has in store for me but I do feel that here is where He wants me to be. In the almost 3 months i`ve been here, I`ve learned that life really is a box of chocolates.... You never know what you`re gonna get and you never will if you don`t take that chance and open the box.

Stay Classy